My awesome boss/friend/mentor and I just "had" to go to Market Street for strict business purposes (not intentionally getting lost and finding ourselves at Anthropology) on a gorgeous sunny day and as we drove up to San Francisco, we discussed me, and my future and plans. She mentioned that she had been thinking about it for me and that if it wasn't too bold, she suggested that I return to school and actually get a degree.
Instantly, I replied "Oh, I plan to. Once the kids get older". At that moment there was a moment of silence that felt like at least five minutes, then she said "aren't they "older" already?” This stumped me and I suddenly realized that I’d run out of excuses. My list included:
1. when the kids get older - check, kids are 10 and 8
2. when I have a supportive man in my life - check, he is amazingly supportive
3. when I can afford it - check (sort of - lol)
4. when I have more time - check, the kids are pretty much independent now. (because they ARE OLDER)
5. when I get a job that is flexible - check, my boss is the one pushing me
6. when I have all the tools necessary - check!
7. when I am stable - CHECK!
So, you see, no more excuses. That night I got online and instead of shopping gilt.com and ruelala.com, I went to evc.edu and signed up for community college. Two days later I received my Student ID and I met with a counselor. Yay, I felt I’d made great progress!
There are now only two weeks left before I embark on this journey and I've yet to pick a major. ARGH! My counselor suggested that I pick a major so that I could get on auto pilot and just sail into a new future. My goal is to transfer to a four year university and graduate with a degree of some sort, BUT, there are sooo many majors to pick from! How do you just pick something? How can you just choose any major when this is going to become your future? Your life.
I could care less for math, and much less Shakespeare. I love the arts, fashion, and technology. I spend hours on line, "studying" fashion (not shopping, babe, shopping actually requires money, which I don't have much of!) and jewelry, make up, and fabulous footwear. I stalk fashion stalkers. My passion is in this form of art. But, let's be realistic here, there is TONS of competition in the fashion industry, and you have to be capable of marketing yourself like crazy if you actually want to make a living with that. Sadly, there isn't much money in the arts if you are unknown.
I have spent the past month, just narrowing down majors, and printing and reading without success. I have gone from Interior Design, to Biology, to Geology only to keep coming back to Apparel design and shredding it, and reprinting. Ugh! this can't be this hard! Why can't I just pick something that will be profitable and provide for my family?
I caught my good friend online a few moments ago, and decided that she needed a little torture, so I subjected her to my bitching and complaints. I typed to her all my concerns about competition and market for different careers. I even asked her how she was able to pick something and be happy with it being that there are so many possibilities. Her reply: "I picked the major with the least math classes!" she was completely serious and I don't blame her. I caught myself doing the same thing. I selected molecular biology and the first thing I saw were requirements of trig and calc and math courses I couldn't even pronounce! I immediately hit the "back" button and didn’t look back. After I noticed that I was basically having a conversation all to myself, (there were about 20 lines from me without reply in the chat window) I said thanks for letting me vent and that I loved her. She left me with these wise words: "pick something you want to do, not that you HAVE to do. Might as well. You only live once. I actually always dreamed of writing for a magazine. So I'm on the right track. Just have to remember to stay on it!"
This is exactly what I needed to hear/read! So with that said, I have narrowed my search down to two fields. Art or Health Sciences.
I guess I'll keep myself posted. :) I'm giving myself until Friday.
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